How I got screwed.

Yeah so my guild changed loot systems.

Originally we used a modified form of Suicide Kings which starts off with everyone at no hits. When you take a piece of loot you go down the loot system. So if I take a Stormrage Cover and Joe takes nothing (hey Joe! Long time no see!) then Joe has priority on the next piece of loot.

The huge negative to this system is where do you put in new people? Most new people were put in around the average or a little below it. This turned into a whole "indentured servitude" thing cause most of the new items were going to the people who were senior.

Now while I disagree with the indentured servitude comment I also think that its not entirely unfair to let the senior people get the loot first. They're the ones who have been around for a long time. Also, there is nothing pre-Naxx that I want (the last item that I thought I wanted was a Cloak of Clarity but after thinking about it and going after aesthetic values I decided on a Cloak of Suturing which not only is as good as Clarity but also has this whole it matches the Dreamwalker Armor (click on druid and Tier 3 Raid set to see how it looks).

So anyway I was something like 40 hits over the person in last place. A bit excessive, yes I agreed on it. And eventually I agreed on the whole make it equivalent to like 10 hits.

Then my "friends" (more comments on my "friends" and my choice of "friends" and my "friends" that are reading this should not be feeling any special love right now) decided to completely redo it. Now its about 3 hits over the last person or less than 10% of what it was before.

I'm told I should be happy and love this change and when I said that he screwed me over (only I didn't use those words) he said he was "interested in being fair" and "I (him) am the only one interested in this" (now he should be feeling special love).

I am still in shock over this comment. It is something that I haven't really dealt with due to a recent personal tragedy that hit me on Wednesday morning but it's instead festered. (Right now he's saying I'm too emotional and sharing this webpage with people in the guild probably.)

Since when is he interested in fairness? Did he think that when I passed him all those enchanting mats cause he was my friend that it was "fair"? What about when I passed him this ring simply cause he is my friend and though I wanted the ring I had determined that he wanted it infinitely more than me. What about this trinket? Was I being fair or was I trying to ensure that he got what he wanted? What about when in high school when I gave him a perfect score on numerous homeworks cause I was grading them and had the power. Power definitely corrupts some people and that includes him and me. "I'm only interested in being fair" is a pretty poor line in my opinion.

Then he goes on and says that he's getting screwed too. Well this is partly true. He is getting screwed when compared to the people of his class. Of course, he did take a 6 month break in the middle and basically got really lucky when he came back (something that though I disagreed with I helped him craft an argument that got him even lesser penalties... cause... I thought he was my "friend") (still no special love for the "friend" thing there... keep reading). Also he pretty much has all of his raiding gear from Naxxramas. I know what he'll say here "DPS gear" my response: "Feral Gear" oh gee we both need leveling gear.

Then he'll say "Look I know you're used to getting the items first..."

Huh?

Let's think about all the things in Blackwing's Lair and Ahn'Qiraj I got first.

Stormrage Bracers. Okay I got these first. However, it wasn't cause I was on top of the list. It was cause I had 2 pieces of stormrage already and my class wanted me to get the 3 piece bonus. That was kind of them and something I repaid in full.

Stormrage Pauldrons. This is the only legitimate thing I got the first one without someone being kind to me.

Lok'Amir Il Romathis . Got this one first. How? I practically begged people to let me get it first. Of course I got it first cause I was using a blue and the guy who was going to get it already had an epic weapon.

Pure Elementium Band. This one I got first cause I won a roll off.

Yeah so out of. (Starts counting) 9 items from BWL and 1 item in AQ I got the first one legitimately with no rolloff/begging/goodwill 1 time. Uh huh I'm used to getting things first. Definitely. /sarcasm off

The better argument here is that I'm pissed that once I finally get on top the system changes. That is legitimate.

Look, I don't want a 40 hit lead over the bottom. That is excessive. But I think that is fair for me to have a 6-8 hit lead but I don't. So then this all got me to thinking.

Why was I pissed? Was I really pissed off about the loot? Yes in a way. I raid to kill the new bosses and then get the loot. I don't raid for my health. I raid in spite of it. I don't raid to hang out with these people, I raid cause I want to see the content and get the stuff.

As I sat on my bed earlier this reason seemed extremely unfulfilling. So I sat there, thought about it and ate cold chinese food. I made a couple of phone calls and thought about it some more. I came up with what I thought was the real reason.

I have no friends.

These friends screwed me over in the interest of "fairness". Another friend, once I picked him and his girlfriend up from the airport, has refused to meet with me to get dinner now for 3 weeks in a row (in his defense here, he actually had a legitimate reason once and wanted to meet on a Wednesday but I declined cause I had to attend a seminar). Other friends here at CU, once I can no longer do their optics or mechanics homework, want nothing to do with me. Our guild leader only likes me cause I have the most tedious job in the guild and do it with few complaints. And I'm the druid captain and I'm the only one who's willing to sit down and work stuff out with him.

Several friends from SU don't respond to my emails any more. Friends from high school refuse to answer their IMs anymore. A guy that I considered my "best friend" from when I was a kid doesn't answer his phone anymore.

In my opinion, when you call someone a friend, it is not a title I give out easily. It to me means that you are willing to go to extreme lengths to help that person. It is a person that you don't backstab but instead try to help. I sometimes wonder if people share this feeling. To some people, it seems a "friend" is a label that can be added and dropped at random. This just doesn't sit well with me. To me a friend is a person that you will know for life or as long as possible and watch out for each others back.

I think I am the only person who feels this way.

More thoughts later about baseball and other less substantive topics.